By Duchess of Hackney

Hackney livin' n lovin'. Sarky frosty knickers always gobby, and perpetually pissed off for good reasons. Wind up merchant extraordinaire, but a nice old fashioned unusually unusual gal... Writing lots of wrongs.

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Ah Black Friday! Britain, only a matter of time before Thanksgiving becomes an official holday

Ah Black Friday! Britain, only a matter of time before Thanksgiving becomes an official holday

I told you, didn’t I tell you that between mad consumerism and Britain’s adoption of everything American, it was only a matter of time before Thanksgiving and 4th of July becomes a British holiday? Didn’t I?

Well one outta two ain’t bad and maybe we are not quite celebrating thanksgiving proper, but with Amazon able to convince some of you numpties that YOU MUST start your Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving, I’d say were well on our way. You see, you can’t have Black Friday without Thanksgiving, that’s like having a traditional British Sunday roast without gravy or Boxing day without Christmas day.

Who would have thought it would be tax dodging, minimum wage paying, slave labour Amazon to convince y’all, but they have.  And who would have thought y’all would have taken to it with the same gusto as West Ham  football holigans.  You go Britain! Stateside, people have been trampled to death for the sake of a bargain and I think Brits could give them a run for their money.

I’ve noticed over the years the frenzy and even slight envy from Brits whenever Thanksgiving comes around, and this year surpassed all other years in coverage of the great American holiday, which only leads me to believe – the day is a coming baby.

pilgrimsThe Metro or at least the online version had no less than FOUR pieces on Thursday, about Thanksgiving.  All by excited salivating young thrusters who would probably chop off their little fingers for a Green Card in a New York minute.  One of them Rachel Tarley, wrote the most meaningless, simplistic and sophomoric piece that reads like an explanation to five year olds.

Nico Adams “6 reasons why Brits should embrace Thanksgiving” was just as tedious,  predictably followed by a list of  six places to experience Thanksgiving in London. Unsurprisingly three of them were here in Hackney, including one that came across way too hipster for me. I noticed Joe Allen in Covent Garden, a place you could always count on eating decent corn bread, ponced up their Thanksgiving menu.  It was unrecognizable, not surprisingly it’s new owners idea? Then there was the quiz that challenged if you were Team America or Team Britain….more trivial nonsense.

So you see folks, keep forging ahead and one day Thanksgiving will be an official holiday as will 4th of July.

Now that Britain’s glory days are over, the country has become a bitch to anyone who will pay. After centuries of enslaving, raping, pillaging and murdering across the globe, it lost its Empire,  now it’s everyone elses turn to ravage Britain up the jacksy, while buying it out lock, stock and barrel and allowing majority control in critical national infrastructure projects . The ports its “adventurers” and “conquerors” sailed out of, are now foreign owned as are its utilities as the British government goes cap in hand almost on a monthly basis to China.

So tell me, just what’s wrong with another foreign import?

Oh and before I forget, put your right hand across your chest, look a little solemn and sing along with Marvin, that’s if like me, you can’t help biting your knuckles at his awesomeness. 🙂

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