By Duchess of Hackney

Hackney livin' n lovin'. Sarky frosty knickers always gobby, and perpetually pissed off for good reasons. Wind up merchant extraordinaire, but a nice old fashioned unusually unusual gal... Writing lots of wrongs.

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The Canalival carnage on Regents Canal and what they can learn from Texas

The Canalival carnage on Regents Canal and what they can learn from Texas

 

It was a daft idea to begin with.

I don’t know which brain surgeon came up with the idea of having a floating carnival on Regents Canal and I was glad the authorities put an end to it.  I said it was a bad idea last year and was surprised  to see it pop up this year again and with such gusto too.  The dim witted organizers in all their promotions hailed it as the next big thing and wanted to make it the biggest thing going. Here’s  a bit of their promo:

NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, COME, BRING SOMETHING FLOATY, BRING SOME BOOZE, BRING SOME MATES AND GET INVOLVED.

This is for everyone. No registration required.

LETS MAKE THIS THE MOST MASSIVE FLOATING PARTY LONDON HAS EVER SEEN.

POST POST POST THIS EVERYWHERE, INVITE ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO IT. DO IT NOW. SHARE IT ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE, ITS TOTALLY FREE AND WE WANT TO MAKE IT MASSIVE.

As you can see it was never well thought out, their ethos was the more the merrier, being the loudest and baddest on social network..It was obvious from the beginning it was going to be over subscribed and that was just by my unscientific reckoning, based on searches and hits to Hackney Hive where the event was listed. Yes, we agreed to list it earlier.

The organizers canceled at the eleventh hour after raising over £3000 via crowd funding. The authorities including  the police didn’t sign off on the event, but it didn’t stop other numb-nuts from going ahead with it.

Thousands gathered as planned.  No registration, no tickets, no entry fee, just a bunch of total immature twats gathering in a small narrow area. It was selfish and void of any responsibility or concern for nearby residents, wildlife, flora or fauna.

Ella Kirby posted  this on Canalivals Facebook:

The Suffolk Estate behind broadway market was used as a urinal, even the DOORWAYS to our stairwells were used by women as toilets. I saw one girl urinating quite literally on someone’s doorstep (that person has young kids). Please bring a bucket or hosepipe and get rid of the public health risk from our estate.

Well guess what, after reading the negative complaints from canal dwellers, on the Canalival Facebook page, there isn’t a chance in hell The authorities will allow them to go ahead with plans next year. Then there is this….Ooooh.

Less frenzied  than London,  people chillin' and tubing  on the  Guadalupe River, Canyon Lake, Texas.

Less frenzied than London, people chillin’ and tubing on the Guadalupe River, Canyon Lake, Texas.

Don’t get me wrong, I may not always be down with the kids, but I’m all for having a good time.

When I lived in Austin, Texas, I tried tubing along the Guadalupe River a few times but I preferred more genteel water leisure activities on Lake Travis instead.

Tubing in Texas  is something people of all ages enjoy doing during the scorching hot summers, it’s not frenzied nor a desperate attempt by young hipsters to prove how cool, weird or original they are. It also contributes to the economy of towns and cities along the river banks.   Sure it has it’s issues, every year there are deaths, injuries and colossal damage to the waterbed as the photo proves.  Things got so bad that some towns  and cities have brought in new ordinances  to curb litter and protect the environment

A  view  of   Beverage Cans Embedded In Bank of Guadalupe River

A view of beverage cans embedded
in bank of Guadalupe River

Oh, and with  twits like this who posted on Canalivals Facebook page, let’s hope Canalival is not  allowed back.

It was so much fun but once again the authorities fucked everything up. If this had just have been allowed to go officially ahead, it would all be fine. Why are all fun things banned?

No dude, you’re the one that f****d everything up!

 

 

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