By Duchess of Hackney

Hackney livin' n lovin'. Sarky frosty knickers always gobby, and perpetually pissed off for good reasons. Wind up merchant extraordinaire, but a nice old fashioned unusually unusual gal... Writing lots of wrongs.

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Police, thieves, speeding in the hood and a wannabe Sainsburys hero

Police, thieves, speeding in the hood and a wannabe Sainsburys hero


Over the Easter weekend 2 men died after the car they were in, clipped another vehicle before they rammed into a wall while trying to evade police chasing them in Haringey. The driver who I assume was their buddy, lived and was arrested.

I remember thinking at the time the deaths could have been avoided, if the  police hadn’t gone all Starsky and Hutch on a full blown out cop chase. On the other hand, had the driver stopped when he saw the flashing lights behind him, he would have been looking at drug and traffic charges not vehicular manslaughter and the burden of living with the knowledge he played a part in his friends death. I’d have a hard time living with that.  I’ve never understood  why  anybody tries to out run cops, it’s a losers game.

As a driver and pedestrian I’ve never been comfortable about police chases on city roads, and over the years there have been enough examples to confirm my fears. So you can imagine my first thoughts, as I saw a patrol car with sirens blaring, come racing down the road and screeched to a halt outside the Sainsbury’s on Amhurst Park Road, in Stamford Hill this afternoon.

They’d come to get their man, a shoplifter, who had been detained just minutes before by the stores security people. I witnessed it unfold as I stood in the check out line, two of the security guys went racing out of the store. One of them in absolute disregard of his own life or the mental anguish some unsuspecting driver would have had to endure, had he wound up being tossed in the air with his brains left dripping off the vehicles shattered windscreen. He just stepped into the road without looking.

His ‘heroic’ efforts made one of the store employees point out the risk he took, telling him it really wasn’t worth risking his life over. I have to agree with her, there are few things worth risking ones life and limb for and chasing a light fingered two bit chump change grocery store thief, isn’t a good enough reason. You know what the fools response was? He had to do it because the perp “would have made us look stupid”. By “us”, I assume he meant he and the other £8 per hour SIA supplied security staff, whose painfully mundane days consist of hanging around the security stand next to the entrance, carrying out their perfunctory walk arounds, eyeballing and chatting up pretty girls.  Protecting Sainsbury’s inventory nor £8 per hour is worth ANYONE’S life.

And the pair of  uniformed crime fighters in their cop-mobile? They arrived in record time and I only wish they responded that quick for more traumatizing and dangerous individual situations. Some years ago I had problems with some feral kids who on one occasion threw a log at my door late one night. Another time they threw a brick which missed my door and went through a neighbors widow. On each occasion officers never arrived until I left a message on the Safer Neighbourhoods Team voice mail (3 days later), letting them know the kids would be unrecognisable if I ever got my  hands on them.The kids got a rise out of hearing my dogs bark and all I knew about them,is they lived on a housing estate near the road I lived on.

The photo below is the aftermath of chasing them down in my car after fireworks were let off on my door step. I ran out of my house barefoot and still in my nightwear, hell bent on discharging some prairie justice. Fortunately for both of us, they abandoned what I’m sure was a stolen bike, sans its rubber peddle covers on the pavements to scale a wall.  I waited thirty minutes for them to reappear – they didn’t.


I would have crushed the bastards, but their bike took it instead.

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